


It Is What It Is

by Junejuly15



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Tenderness, The Lying Detective Spoiler, hug, mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 15:31:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9278120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junejuly15/pseuds/Junejuly15
Summary: It is what it is - A hug, an intimate, tender moment, but for John it also means facing his demons  - Short Fix-It for Sherlock Series 4 The Lying Detective, The Hug Scene - SPOILER WARNING: Don't read if you haven't watched this episode





	

Sherlock’s large hand gently moved upwards and his fingers curled around John’s neck.

‘It’s okay,’ he murmured. He felt a slight motion away from his touch, the tension underneath the skin evidence of the desire to bolt.

‘It’s not okay!’

John was crying, allowing the tears to fall, but covering his face with one hand - hiding, even now. Sherlock would not let him get away and with his other hand he drew him closer, guiding him towards his chest, towards his heart.

‘I know,’ he whispered into John’s hair. ‘But it is what it is.’

Gently his hand moved up and down John’s arm and the tension gradually left him. He relented and settled against Sherlock’s chest, still shaking, his body trembling with the sobs, but allowing himself to be held.

All at once shame for what he had done to Sherlock in those past days, weeks, months, flooded him and he broke their embrace, abruptly turning away, wiping the tears away with his bare hands, hiding his face once more.

Sherlock remained where he was. ‘I understand. It’s all right.’

‘No, it’s not,’ John almost had to laugh at the absurdity of Sherlock’s generosity. Yet again. ‘It’s not okay – what …’ John cleared his throat and glanced at Sherlock who was standing so close to him, looking at him with those bright eyes, his face serious and full of concern and tenderness - and with the traces of his ordeal and of John’s violence still clearly visible. Groaning John turned away. He screwed his eyes shut, inwardly berating himself.

_Stop it! Stop hiding and piling the blame on him! It’s you, John Watson. You are the problem, only you. Do something about it, and do it now!_

He sighed and nodded, an affirmation for himself, and Sherlock took one step closer to him. ‘John,’ he said, his voice an urgent whisper. ‘Let me help. I’m sure I can…’

‘No, Sherlock. You can’t. And I can’t possibly ask you to help me again. All you ever did was to help me. You risked your life to save me – over and over again – and all I ever did was to push you away and to punish you for my own selfish reasons. And in the morgue with Smith I … ‘

He broke off again, closing his eyes, pushing back the tears. ‘I completely lost it and I hit you, I injured you …’ He winced, the memory hurt. ‘How can you forgive me that? How can I ever ask anything from you again - hmm? I have no right and …’ he inhaled deeply and finally turned back to Sherlock. ‘But I make a vow, right here, right now. A vow that I will sort myself out, get help, therapy, all it needs … and then I will ask you again, if you want to help me – and if you still want me.’

John broke off, he had run out of words, and it wasn’t up to him anymore anyway. For a moment, Sherlock just stood there and watched him, his eyes travelling over John’s anguished face, taking in the pain and the sincerity.  And with a curt nod he closed the gap between them to gather him in his arms once more.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my tumblr in reaction to this wonderful moment and thought I might post it here as well! Enjoy reading, feedback would be more than appreciated :)  
> Thank you  
> JJ xx


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